Monday, 27 December 2010

TWC's Gretchin Tactica

[or: Everything you Wanted To Know About Gretchin But Would Never Bother To Ask]


Introduction
You were probably expecting my Gimmick article. But seeing as it is Christmas time (well, it's gone, just, but never mind that minor detail...), I thought I'd start uploading some of the tacticas and articles I've written during my forum years. This one may be a treat for some of you, as I haven't put it onto the main forum I frequent yet. This month and next will have a distinctly grotty feel, as I've just remembered a promise to an old forum acquaintance I made a while ago that I haven't got around to finishing yet. But hell, it'll be free promotion, so why not.

Okay, so, this is a tactica born mostly from my last 6 or so years playing a Grot Horde in Warhammer 40k. I've experimented with Grots in almost every combination over the years, especially as I've spent the last 6 needing them to do a pretty good job. I warn you, it is very long, but hopefully it will be informative. A friend is going to help me post a shorter/better version on forums soon, but I will be keeping the original here, for those who crave far too much information.

Well, so long as you haven't spent the last 5 or so years dead, or hiding from 40k players, you'll have noticed that the Orks have been back, for quite a while, and stomping heads in. One of their more perplexing units is Gretchin (or Grots for short); both Ork and other 40k players have a tendency to pour an awful amount of disdain and ridicule in their direction. Muttering about them being "too weedy" to be of any use. There are of course a lot of shrewd Ork players out there who actually know how to use them, and it has an awful lot to do with embracing their weediness...

The True Value of Weediness
So Grots are rubbish are they? A lot of people think so, and I don’t correct them. Being underestimated gives Grots a tactical edge, but also explains why Grots are a very love/hate unit. Ask most Ork Players what they think of Grots and you’ll get a mixture of responses. Mostly though it is likely that they will be dismissed as little more than cheap cannon fodder, cheap tactical maguffins and/or not as good as shootas.

There is a fair amount of merit to this. Grots are clearly no replacement for shootas, and they certainly die very easy and are rather cheap. Of course, it remains that many 40k players heftily underestimate the importance of cheap tactical maguffins, and are just as likely to look a gift horse in the mouth as far as anything that costs points, whether it’s a huge bargain or not.

A lot of people really don't seem to 'get' what Gretchin are about. There were a lot of 'Grots Suck' threads thrown around during 4th Ed after the Codex had just come out, despite that in my estimations they were better than before or since, even without the Grot Screen/unit cover rules. People do tend to place a lot of individual pressure on units as if they all have to perform to 'effective and optimal standards' and need to be made 'viable' to use. People should really start looking at their armies collectively, rather than just unit by unit, because if a force can't support itself well, having the odd unit being 'viable' doesn't count for all that much.

Believe it or not, but Gretchin are one of our most flexible units. Whilst it’s clear that there's one thing they can never deal with (vehicles), Grot mobs of all shapes and sizes have many uses in pretty much any Ork army. Before we get around to discussing how to use Grots in more detail, first lets explore The Weedy Side of Gretchin usage.

The Power of The Dork Side
The important thing to remember about Grots is to never fight fair with them. Grots in the fluff don’t fight fair, and neither should you. Grots are best used in underhanded ways, manipulating the course of the game or affecting it (or your opponent) in subtlety. Grots do not win fair fights, but if the odds are slightly stacked in their favour, they can perform much better than you’d anticipate. Expecting Grots to be a directly useful unit and successful in combat unaided is to misunderstand what Grots are about.

As a generally underestimated unit, they can have a massive impact on the outcome of games whilst still being a relative unknown to your opponent. The one thing that people do know is that the Grot statline is rubbish. They may be right, but they don’t know anything else. If you exploit this, your Grots will be a lot more effective.

Also remember that it is perfectly fine to dismiss your grots and treat them with utter disdain; casually letting them wander to their deaths. Regardless of the kind of Ork (or Grot) army you have, Gretchin mobs will not be the elite of your troops. They are there to fight a bitter battle, and unless survival is very important (kill point games for instance), one should not be squeamish with using them. Although their subliminal uses are far more useful, when these are done, Grots should be utilised viciously.

Grots have a number of subliminal uses that I will discuss in this section. Unfortunately some of them are increasingly more common knowledge than they once were, and are certainly the least sneaky things you can do with Grots, but are the most effective and commonly used ones:

Nabbing Objectives
As a cheap troop choice, Grots are ideal for ‘Objective Sitting’. If you have an objective (such as a bunker) in your own deployment zone, Grots are a very good choice for babysitting it. Even if you are using a Speed Freaks force, you should consider taking some Grots to ‘leave behind’. Whether it is about holding table quarters, bunkers or other objectives, Grots are cheap enough to throw at them, ‘weedy enough’ to forget about and generally out of range enough of enemies to spend most of the game going to ground.

Opponents really hate ‘wasting shots’ on Grots, so it really isn’t a problem for you to send them after valuable objectives. A cunning Ork Player will be giving their opponent far more dangerous things to worry about than a small group of runts! Don’t expect Grots to hold an objective from an awful lot that moves in to contest, but regardless they are still one of our best units for taking objectives.

I will discuss techniques for taking forward objectives in a short while.

Providing Cover
The ‘Runt Save’ as I like to call it, Grots have always been popular for their ability to screen the much more expensive and valuable units behind them. In the last codex, it was an inherent rule, and now it is incorporated in the 5th Edition ruleset. Runt Saving is so popular with Ork Players because it easily allows for Grots to revert to tarpitting when the ground is closed and with Grots moving directly ahead, they are also in a good position for grabbing enemy objectives.

Runt Save units can provide the odd unit (say, that your KFF cannot cover) with a very effective cover save and your opponent is unlikely to 'waste shots' on the Grots themselves. When they close ground they can help in assault, revert to tarpitting, send them after objectives and/or use blasta shots to annoy your opponent and score cheap kills.

The smaller the Grot unit, the more annoying they can be. They are easy to kill though, in combat and shooting, so they are not invulnerable. However a unit starting with 10-20 Grots can cover a large amount of Orks and make a difficult tarpit obstacle for the opponent. It can often be worth covering the Grots with a KFF. This may seem counter-intuitive, but this ensures grot survival and the save for the unit they are personally covering is already better anyway, just now, you might keep it a bit longer.

Obviously the main issue is running. If either the covering unit or the unit behind fall short, issues start to arise. I’ve found that the easiest way to avoid this if both units are running is to line the covering grots on the deployment edge in as few tight rows as possible, and give between 1 and 3 inches between them and the units they cover behind them. This will reduce the potential of the Orks sitting around with movement they can’t use.

The other main issue is that Grots being in the front almost definitely slows down the potential progress of the unit/s it covers. Usually, this is worth it, even with Shoota units who in most cases have the Grots providing the enemy with cover as well. Be aware of what your opponent is. Against Beakies, that cover is generally worthless, and if they go to ground, that is an advantage to you anyway.

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In the poorly drawn diagram above, you’ll see a rough example of the kind of things you can do with Grot cover. Here, a Gretchin Mob of 20 is providing cover to a 30-strong Boyz Mob. Obviously a Grot unit could cover more, or less, but the principle I see is that, unless you are desperate, Grots should provide a long row that is at least 2 grots deep. 1-deep cover can be whittled away very easily, but covers more, so it is ultimately up to you.

You may be wondering why the Runtherds are on the ends. It is purely aesthetic on my part, really. I suggest experimenting with where you put your runtherds. I sometimes align them like that, and I definitely avoid placing them in the front line where possible. You want to try and maximise the location of those grabba Stikks/grot prods, so think about where you need them at the time. Remember that the Grots are probably an inch or so ahead, so better run rolls can be spent reforming whilst running. Also, sticking two on the end (whether they’re grots or runtherds) extends your LOS coverage slightly.

The distance between the two units isn’t always important. If you are using Shoota Boyz, you don’t need to be so far behind the Grots, as you’ll be shooting most of the game (and running for one turn might not account for the distance). Grots should run every turn, and even if you don’t want to move too far forward from the unit/s you are covering, you can use the run moves to form your Grots up into a useful tactical shape. There are many, but I’m going to talk you through two.

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We will discuss tarpitting in a short while, but you can prepare for it whilst advancing. The formation picture above shows how I have moved the runtherds into the centre, deepened the flank sides, moved the Orks in and curved the front row slightly. The reason for all of this is control. When you choose to tarpit, you need only move your Grots the full distance, unload a volley of shots from the blastas and brace for the charge, taking any position you like (remember that this picture is showing a formation preparing for a tarpit, not the actual tarpit itself!).

The flanks of the Grot unit are deeper to allow optimum cover whilst making sure you won’t run into coherency issues (which is why the Runtherds are in the middle, as no matter what happens you’ll not remove the runtherds if you have the choice, and you still have coherency if they are sniped). The Runtherds are also in the middle so that they can be easily moved to get into b-t-b with any charge. You can have them on the front row, but that depends on what you are facing. Sometimes it is better to choose positions that allow you a better choice of placing for the first round of combat.

Always think about where your runtherds should be placed. Although no longer easy to remove in combat, these are your main combat elements and you do need to exploit your runtherds’ location if you want to reduce the combat impact. Your Runtherds with grabba Stikks in particular need to be deployed effectively, so always be wary of where you place them.

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An alternative formation that I favour is a flanking formation. You use this if you intend to move the Grots and Orks in different directions, such as flanking an enemy unit. The main advantage of this manoeuvre is that it still provides cover but allows both Ork and Grot units roughly the same movement potential, but on the downside reduces the amount of Grots that could potentially provide cover, as well as being fairly predictable as to what your units are going to do. It is generally a good idea to face the Grots’ flank towards the largest mass of enemy firepower if possible. I will cover flanking shortly, but first let’s discuss tarpitting.

Tarpitting and Charge Blocking
Two terms you may or may not be familiar with, but mean essentially the same thing. The idea is to place a blocking unit that prevents the enemy from assaulting more valuable enemy units behind them. The enemy can ignore the Grots, but if they remain intact, the Grots will still be able to move freely, and either way, the enemy still cannot touch the unit behind in combat. More to the point, regardless of the result, the enemy will not be able to reach the protected unit/s behind and are now at the mercy of those units in the following turn.

The important thing to remember about tarpitting is positioning and bait. You want to make sure that the Grots are positioned in such a way that the enemy cannot easily move around them, and that your valuable units are a sufficient number of inches away that they are protected but able to counter charge in the following turn. Obviously, if your enemy units have larger charge ranges or fleet, you will need to take the extra movement into account (an easy way to do this is to widen your Grots and move your Orks back). Here is another bad picture to show a general tarpit setup:

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As you can see, the Grots are set up to accept the charge from one opponent. The basic idea is to fully block the unit and a good rule of thumb is to prevent an enemy model from drawing any straight lines to the unit/s you are covering without passing through the Grots. Runtherds sit in the front (with grabba Stikks, accepting a charge is an easy way to reduce attacks no matter what the position, so positioning is only important if you want to neuter a specific character) and try to keep your grot rank deep if possible.

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On occasion, you may need your Grots to protect valuable units from a number of enemy units. In these cases, the process is still the same. Spread your Grots wide enough to cover the unit/s the Grots protect in such a way that you cannot draw a straight line from the enemy units to any of them, and keep the rows of grots at least 2 deep where possible (this will mean that it is easier to maintain the protective barrier of grots if you have to remove shooting casualties).

Once positioning is sorted, baiting is usually the easy bit, and is also when you find out if your tarpit is successful, or if your Grots are lucky enough to be out of charge range (ignoring stuff that can fleet, anyway). To bait an enemy into accepting the tarpit, all you need to do is unleash a Grot Blasta volley. Some shooting at BS3 should be enough to suggest to your opponent that leaving the Grots alone is a reasonably bad idea. Plus, killing enemies increases the chance of the Grots surviving to at least attack back, so either way shooting them is good.

As Sweeping Advances are gone, fighting Grots is pretty much a death sentence if the enemy will promptly stare down an Ork unit that is within 12". A situation of tarpit trapping is the one main time you should consider not re-rolling with the Squig hound in combat. Although consolidation becomes an issue (for getting out of range of the Ork unit/s behind the tarpit), keeping Grots around for a second combat means even with fresh attackers on your side, without wiping the enemy out you will probably lose the combat if there are more Grots than attackers.

Because consolidation cannot lead to assault, there is not much stopping you from keeping your Orks a lot closer, and this is most recommended when trying to tarpit jump troops, as you’ll need to make sure they can’t get past the grots, and the best way to do that is have the other side of the grots being 1-2” away from Orks (which would be an illegal move for jump troops). Generally though against really fast things, the tarpit can fall down if you aren’t careful, so always remember to exploit positioning, distance and terrain if you can.

The main downside of tarpitting is that it can, on occasion, block your own units from getting into combat themselves. This is fairly rare though, as Grots are very easy to kill and the opponent is not really rewarded in success anyway. It is however, almost guaranteed to result in either a destroyed or fleeing Grot unit; an almost certain kill point for the enemy, especially in units of 20 or less (inflicting 11 or more casualties to a Grot unit in a single turn can be very easy).

Remember that often (especially with multiple units) it is easier for the foe to just shoot your grots dead. The speedbump/tarpit effect is the same, as they can only shoot you after moving, and it is unlikely that they’d be within 6” after shooting if you’ve placed them correctly. It is best to always be cautious about losing your grots to shooting, especially when nearby units can fleet. People can get around speed bumps, so always think twice when trying to deploy one.

Unit Flanking
Depending on the situation, tarpitting can sometimes be a waste. If you have the advantage of distance and your opponent’s unit/s lies within 6-12”, there is seldom much point in letting your Grots stand around doing nothing! A tactic I tend to favour is Unit Flanking.

This is essentially the final development of the flanking formation I showed you earlier (it may help to go back to familiarise yourself if necessary). The theory behind it is that the Orks have continued to gain cover from the Grots, but are merely less than 2” behind the front of the uppermost Grot rank. This means that the two units can split apart, and with the right amount of cunning, can do a number of clever things, and the distance travelled between them is very similar.

The flanking formation mostly protects a single unit geared for assault (but provides an impressive screen to other units behind as well!), but otherwise allows that little extra movement to deploy quickly and effectively into combat. If timed well with the rest of the army, this is a wonderful time to consider calling your waaagh and getting as many of your Orks into combat as possible. You should also bear in mind that Grots cannot ‘Waaagh!’ (and thus cannot fleet), so they may not have as much potential to move ahead as the Orks potentially have.

The main tactical advantage of the flanking manoeuvre is being able to surround an opposing unit from two sides; either to throw both units into combat, or to move off the Gretchin for a few volleys of shooting without interfering with charging potential.

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Although this manoeuvre mentions a ‘double assault’ it is not necessary. The important thing to take note is that the Orks have a greater potential to surround the enemy if you are able to fleet that turn. If you have no need of running the Grots, even if you do not charge in, a volley of Grot Blasta fire (plus whatever the Ork unit has if they don’t fleet) is worth unleashing. This could potentially lead to the unit fleeing, but it all depends on what you want to achieve. If you are hesitant to consider any concept of charging Grots in to assist another unit, I will cover this later on when I discuss using Grots in Combat.

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Alternatively, you may want to use this tactic to tarpit an enemy unit close enough to support the unit your Ork unit will be charging. In this instance you may need to utilise a run move to pull it off effectively (although avoid this if possible to get a volley of blasta fire off). Alternatively you could use this manoeuvre in order to make a sprint for an objective, leaving ‘da boyz ta get on wif watz proppa’. If they win the assault, consolidation is best spent making sure the tarpit works, otherwise ideally the enemy unit (if it survives) should provide an obstacle to aid the tarpit. Be clever if you can about where you place your charging Orks, and from where you remove casualties.

Flanking is very simple to do, although can be a little time consuming. It is however very effective for exploiting movement, if a little more predictable and easy to spot for the opponent. A clever opponent will tend to ignore the gretchin half (although depending on how well you did the formation it is possible to switch around in a turn if you have time. However the best way to get away with this is to make your opponent notice other rather dangerous Ork units and otherwise distract from the weedy nature of the grots (although they could be screening 30 boyz, which would scare anyone…) with more vital concerns. However if you want to deploy two units quickly in separate ways, it is a very useful tactic.

The Price of Weediness
The Price of Weediness is something worth paying, and (more to the point) not as expensive as you might think! I’m prepared to assume that a lot of “Mathshammer” will be thrown around to show that statistically, at least, Weediness isn’t much to be sniffed at. I am hoping the content in this tactica has at least got you to consider rethinking your position on Grots.

Obviously, the main failing of Grot units is the Gretchin statline. The 2s in particular are considered with a great deal of dismissal. For the most part it does mean that you at least know why Grots are so cheap. But Grots do at least have the saving grace of BS3. This is particularly attractive in other Gretchin units (Big Gunz, Grot Tanks and Kanz), and in a regular Grot unit this does mean that blasta fire can be reasonably destructive up close.

The main thing people tend to complain about with Grots is their apparently poor leadership. So I had a quick look through the codex. With Runtherds, a Gretchin unit has between 1 and 3 models that grant leadership 7 to the unit. More than half of the units in the Ork Codex with an Ld stat (some 11 units) have a maximum base of Ld 7 (outside of the Mob Rule and IC joining), and only two of these can greatly exceed a unit size of 8 without a significant cost. These two units are Grots and Boyz (the unit Grots usually screen). Weirdboyz, Nobz, Meganobz, Burna Boyz, Tankbustas, Lootas, Warbikers, Deffkoptas (who cannot exceed 5 models), and Big Gunz (who are in the same boat as Grots) are the others, and only really the Weirdboy can avoid leadership issues by joining Boyz units.

There are 9 units in the Ork Codex who have access to leadership 8 or greater, and of those about 80% of them are special characters or a unit that gains a higher leadership by having a special character upgrade: Ghazkhull, Mad Dok Grotsnik, Wazdakka Gutzmek, Old Zogwort, Warboss, Big Mek, Kommandos (Snikrot only), Stormboyz (Zagstruk only) and Flash Gitz (Badrukk only).

There are 4 Independent Characters with access to Bosspoles (2 of which are Special Characters), 7 units with access to bosspoles, and of those, only one Flash Git unit may have one (through Badrukk), and Storm Boyz (with Zagstruk) and Kommandos (with Snikrot) must do without a bosspole if they take their special character upgrade.

So on that note, Grots are very cheap, and runtherds provide the average Ork leadership as well as a leadership re-roll for the cost of a nob, whereas other units need an IC or pay an additional 5pts for the privilege. Oh and you can have up to three of these in a unit and are a lot harder to take out even with marksmen on the board. So what was that some people were saying about Grot leadership being rubbish? By the looks of it, they’re bordering on above average for Orks.

The major threat to Gretchin is just about anything that isn’t them, really. Specifically though, Grots really don’t like dedicated combat units (especially ones with a high initiative and armour save) and units with a high toughness value. In shooting, Grots can handle stuff a bit better, but with strength 2 attacks in combat, only your Runtherds have any hope of hurting monstrous creatures. As monstrous creatures tend to be common tarpit targets, this almost guarantees the slaughter of your grot unit.

Grots that aren’t protected by their own cover can be quickly whittled down by enemy shooting. Strangely gaming savvy opponents will determinedly deal with them, especially if you use a lot of tarpitting against them. Grots killed though are cheap casualties. This is one of their main advantages, but coupled with this, they do take a valuable troop slot.

Grots have some specific banes of course, which may appear to be an unreasonably short list. The truth is that most units can kill Grots. There are a few that are utterly perilous to come up against. Grots can always stand a chance of doing some damage to even the most dangerous of foes. I’ve beaten Khorne Berzerkers in combat with a Grot unit before. But here are a few things to watch out for:

Vehicles/Walkers: The obvious is unerringly true. Grots can never harm vehicles. Nope, your Runtherds can’t use furious charge, so you can’t even dent AV10. Grots make excellent tarpits against walkers (especially dreadnaughts), but they can only hold it up, and can never harm it. Dreads in particular will make you regret the day you dropped your grabba stikks for grot prods.

Pie Plates and Template Weapons: Like most Ork units, Grots don’t fare well against template weapons. By far, flamer weapons are actually worse, because even if you’re cunning enough to protect your Grots with a KFF, flamers will ignore any cover save your Grots have and still wound on twos. Templates are always an easy way to remove Grots. Your only solace really is that at least it isn’t your Orks this time (watch these though when covering, especially against hellhounds!).

Now is a good time to mention this. Watch out for pinning. It is a serious problem for Grot units that you have on the move.

Scout Sergeant Telion: Of the space marine characters, Telion is by far the worst for Grots, as he can easily take out your Runtherds, and has two shots within a very decent range. Scout squads are a bit nasty for Grots anyway (especially with snipers), but with Telion they are a very serious threat. Other space marine characters to watch for are Pedro Cantor (mostly as he’s so sodding popular) and Shrike (who is unlikely to be waisted on your grots, but stranger things have happened…). Space Marines are particularly tough opponents for grots, but they are not numerous, and they are very expensive in points. Every marine lost (especially terminators) to gretchin will be a major blow to your opponent, and a good way to pay for a Grot unit’s points.

Death Company/Sanguinary High Priests: I hate Blood Angels. They’re fast, as hard as any space marine, and now annoyingly able to hand out Feel No Pain to tonnes of units. Feel No Pain is one of the Grot unit’s biggest weaknesses. Grots struggle to make dents as it is, and FNP greatly reduces this even further. Count in power armour and it starts getting really annoying. Oh, you want to know about Death Company? Nobody likes Death Company.

Plague Marines and Berserkers: Chaos are quite nasty to Grots, but those two are my least favourites. Although you’d think I like Zerkers less, it’s actually Plague Marines. The FNP and high toughness are a horrible combination. The only time my Grot horde has ever been tabled and massacred recently was down to a Plague Marine army. Zerkers, have extra dice in combat. I have beaten them before, though, and the best thing about Zerkers is, you can always shoot them first.

Dire Avengers: If your panzee playing opponent is willing to waste a turn’s shooting on your grots with his avengers, in all likelihood, they will not be there afterwards. Avoid, where possible.

Before I move on, I’d like to say this isn’t an exhaustive list, and I invite people to suggest other examples that I can add. This is merely based on my experience of opponents. I’m yet to face the new Space Wolves for instance.

Constructing Gretchin Units
Okay, now I’ll give some advice on how to build up your grot units. It seems pretty simple, but it ultimately depends on what you want them to do. Grots are incredibly flexible, but how you build a Grot unit will have a massive impact on how it works in game.

Unit Size
How large to make your Grot units is probably the biggest issue you will face. Regardless of how you go about it, there are two things to remember: firstly, Grots take up a troop slot, and secondly, that Grot unit will be hugely cheap for what you’re getting.

A big deal in the Ork 40k community is the amount of Runtherds. A lot of people like to take up to one less grot than required to buy the next one. Previously, I used to oppose this as against the rules, but I don’t bother now. It can add army list flexibility and save points, but it is often not as practical as people make out.

You can indeed buy a fair bit with 13 points (two more Orks etc), but it is worth considering paying that little bit extra, for what you get out of it. For a start, there’s strength in numbers. It isn’t always important to just have lots of Grots. Runtherds are hard to get rid of without Marksmen, but it is still possible. Also, an extra runtherd adds a massive (for Grots) amount of extra combat clout to the unit.

I’d say the cons of not taking the extra runtherd usually outweigh the pros of leaving him out. Ultimately, it depends on the rest of your list. Grots need to work well, but the same is true for the rest of your army, so it is up to you.

Sizes vary, depending on what you want to do.

If you only have a few points to spare, a unit of 10-18 Grots can be a useful harassment and/or objective sitting unit. You can even use them to cover and tarpit, although I wouldn’t expect them to last very long.

In my view, Grots start getting good from 19 onwards. A unit of 20 preferably (or if you need to save points, 19 and a runtherd) will do what you want and survive quite well. The extra investment beyond this depends on the army, but you can do all of what I have mentioned previously pretty reliably.

The larger units can be quite unwieldy, but they also take a bit of shifting. Units close to the 30-mark pretty much need KFF protection. Otherwise the chance of them pegging it and you not getting the use of them becomes too irritating to budget for. Grot units of this size will attract firepower. This can be beneficial for you, but if you want them ignored, I’d stick closer to the 20 mark and no higher.

A lot of people advocate 29 grots and 2 runtherds. Seriously, don’t bloody bother. Go up to the bell, and ring it, or don’t go up to the bell. A unit of that size needs all the help it can get to be useful more than it does to save points. 120 points is not a lot for what they do. I fit 3 maxed out units in 1000pts and more than that I have 4. I know how those units work, and I find the lack of runtherd seriously detrimental.

A unit of 30 Grots is to be used as a combat unit. Seriously, if you’ve got that many, you want them in the thick of it. At that point, the extra runtherd makes a massive difference. If you keep them out of combat (which is difficult) then Grots are what you need for shooting. In combat however, it is all about the runtherds.

Runtherds
Always remember that Runtherds are dependant on the amount of grots you take. Those people who tell you that you can take 3 and only 10 grots are talking rubbish. Runtherds can only be bought per 10 grots. People exploit this by taking grots under 10 (i.e. 12, 19 or 29), but it doesn’t work both ways. You don’t get to choose when you buy runtherds. You take them when you need them and only when you need them.

When choosing how to equip your Runtherds, I suggest, that unless you have a specific reason not to, you take Grabba Stikks. You can take on some pretty nasty charges and claw enough back to potentially survive combat resolution. When charging they give an extra edge, but runtherd positioning becomes vitally crucial.

I heavily discourage Grot Prods. Unless you're facing a force that is likely to have some kind of monstrous creature, they're hardly worth it, and the Grabba Stikks are more useful anyway for reducing attacks. The Grabba Stikks have saved me from far worse Combat Leadership rolls countless times, and the Grot Prods are expensive for what they do.

You could always mix it up and take a bit of both, but I generally advocate that you stick to one type. If you’re going all out to wound, take Prods. If you’re going for damage limitation, take grabbas. Grabbas are much cheaper, and in my view, work best with Grots.

Grots On The Battlefield
Now finally, I’m going to mention a few basic pointers for using them in a game. I may have mentioned a few things previously, but these are just general thoughts I have put together for your delectation.

Deploying/Moving Grots
This will be the most important part of the game for your grots. Obviously the scenario/mission objectives will greatly determine where you place your gretchin. Ultimately though, it comes down to what role you want them to play in the battle. If you want them to lurk or sit on an objective, then finding cover is the best bet. Grots without cover are in serious trouble.

Usually, I advocate not deploying with the preparation procedures I mentioned above. It is best to move into them later, as the less time you give your opponent to think about them, the better. Most people undervalue Grots so greatly, that they doubt in the ability for Grots to do one purpose well, let alone multiple ones. However, this is no reason to give them the chance to consider it.

Unless you are playing a Grot Horde, always run with your Grots if you are covering something (even if you just use the run inches to reform them). In my experience, a Grot Horde should be moved with careful consideration, because once the enemy closes ground, you run out of chances to dictate when your Grots charge or are charged if you also close ground. If you can, draw your opponent in, then you can maximise firepower and combat clout.

Move your grots according to your expectations, and be wary of potential charges. Only take the charges you want them to. Remember what I said at the start; never play fair with Grots.

Grots In Combat
I was going to discuss Grots in the shooting and close combat phases separately, but seeing as Gretchin shooting range is so low it is almost inevitable that combat is going to shortly follow suite (either in your turn or your opponent’s).

In Combat, the true secret of Grots are 3 things: Runtherds, Squighounds and Grot Blastas.

As we’ve discussed Runtherds in some detail, let’s move on specifically to Squighounds.

Squighounds
They are part of a Runtherd's wargear, but they are so awesome I’ve decided to mention them separately. The Squighound re-roll is an outright godsend, but there are a few important things to know. The squighound re-roll costs Grots. The bigger your unit is, the better (in particular to keep above 50% unit size) because your Grots will fail A LOT of leadership tests, especially in combat. In almost every situation, if you fail you really have to re-roll. Losing more Grots isn’t always good, but making sure your Grots stay put is usually a better bet.

Important Note: Always remember that if you cannot sacrifice the amount of Grots needed for the re-roll, the re-roll does not happen. Squighounds will never eat Runtherds to make a re-roll, so you need the Grots. Bear this in mind.

As far as the Re-roll goes, it is amazing. People forget that a Grot runtherd provides the same leadership as most other Ork units and this unit has a built in re-roll. This makes them one of the best objective-sitting units in the Ork Codex!

The only disadvantage is the lack of Mob Rule, but if you expect your grots to be brave, you're in for a shock, but not as much as you'd imagine. On a good day, my Grots don't run. Ever. On a bad day, they do anyway, but it’s always funny.

One final piece of advice. If you may fail a leadership test and you have exactly half the size of the unit, it is worth considering (particularly if this is during your enemy’s turn) not forcing the re-roll and waiting. The logic is that if you force the re-roll and fail, you lose the Grots (because the casualties from the squighound will take you below 50%), however if you wait until the following turn, you will get two chances to pass it. It will limit what you can do with your Grots, but worth considering for a scenario involving kill points.

Grot Blastas
Grot Blastas are one of the most underrated weapons in the game. They're probably the most rubbish guns in 40k, but if you have enough of them together, they can be extremely nasty. Given the choice, yes, I'd plump for shoota shots any day, but Blastas are horrendously evil simply by nature of Grot BS. I've already gone over it earlier, so I just thought I'd add that Grot shooting is a seldom known effect. So many people (Ork Players included) have no idea how nasty Grots can be in shooting. People rule out Grots as a threat, but when they close distance, a turn's shooting will make most players re-evaluate their attitude towards them, whether you follow it up with a charge or not.

A turn's blasta fire is ultimate Tarpit bait. No opponent will leave those guys around to fire again. Also, never forget that Runtherds have sluggas. BS2, but sluggas. Don’t forget to fire them, it all adds up.

Grots can and often will do themselves proud, but it is almost always down to luck: good to wound rolls and opposing failed armour saves in particular. If you help Gretchin to soften up a unit with even a slight amount of fire support, Grots can take units down.

Expecting Grots to win assaults is extremely wishful thinking. Nine times out of ten Grots win assaults only by wiping out what they are attacking. Grot casualties are always going to be high, so usually you are relying on failed armour saves or an already weakened foe. Their numbers can be favourable and the Runtherds add a bit of combat bite to them, but expecting them to charge in and succeed can never be taken for granted, even against a weakened foe.

Grots are still very flexible, but they need support. Grot units work extremely well together. Putting them both into a combat is still a fairly large gamble, but a lot less painful than adding an Ork unit that will tend to be stuck with a lost combat regardless of how well they did.

Of Ork units to support in combat with Grots, generally it is better to keep them out of it unless you think the Orks could use help inflicting wounds. Grots however support Meganobz extremely well on occasion, because MANz generally have enough killy ability to destroy units, but the Grots give the enemy something else to attack (reducing potential dead MANz before they strike) and if the Grots are entering in the combat after an initial round, those extra attacks really add up. Plus you can surround any character with 3 grabba Stikks if you're smart enough. Only Khorne Lords tend to cope with that kind of restriction.

It is also worth noting that boyz units tend to lose anyway, so what exactly is stopping you from putting the Grots in? If the boyz are likely to remain fearless (even more so if Grots are dividing the enemy attacks) chuck the little sods in. If the Grots run, who cares? They did their job.

Grots As Retinues For ICs
Grots make good retinues on occasion, but here are a few things to consider.

There is much talk often on the Internet of using Mad Dok Grotsnik to make super grots with cybork bodies and popping him into the unit to grant feel no pain. This is almost always an utterly bad idea (and thankfully often discredited). Maybe in Apocalypse it'll be fun, but actually getting something out of FNP would be (other than against the likes of an Imp Guard horde) a rarity, and a 5+ invulnerable that although is VERY useful for Grots in assault, is a very expensive upgrade better spent on units that can do better in combat anyway, such as Meganobz.

Grots are never a good idea for Warbosses. Seriously, put them somewhere useful! There may be a debatable use of sticking a Bikerboss in a grot unit in case of first turn shooting, but as Warbosses are combat beasts, Grots are not the ideal candidate for retinue duty.

They might work for Weirdboyz (but shootas or Flash Gits are better imo) but the only real useful retinue job is Big Meks, and in most cases this is limited to SAG meks. As the SAG is a potentially disastrous weapon, Grots are a cheap babysitting unit that takes hits instead of the mek and doesn't hurt as much when he explodes. Generally though Lootas or Big Gunz teams are the best babysitters because of the dakka they chuck out as well (Big Gunz also don’t always restrict targeting the same thing). Grots, however, are a decent, and cheap alternative!

Most games I play at the moment are around the 1000 pt mark, and I tend to run 3 units of maxed out grots, covered by a KFF. There are so many Grots that players concentrate most of their firepower on them, rather than the much smaller but equally squishy unit of MANz and Warboss. The Grots at that size are unwieldy and tough to move, and seem to be useless, but 90 Grots makes up less than half of the army cost. Plus, when they close range, that grot BS starts to work wonders. I've dropped Avatars and many other 40k badasses with Gretchin fire.

Conclusion


**Sounds of evil cackling**

Welcome, my young apprentice, to the Dork Side!!!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Walks away muttering “I don’t think this whole ‘Dork’ Side thing is going to catch on…”**

TWC

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Games and Gameplay Innovation: Part 1: Introduction

I've been neglecting this blog of late; although one can't really dream of wide readership, especially when you're knocking something everyone likes.  Despite this, however, this Blog has been dedicatedly tame in comparison to some of the bile you find on forums.  It surprises me in no small part because I contribute fairly heavily to the bile you find on forums.

I think I'll put it down in a large part to my own maturity and freedom within a new media, when if you contrast forums, of which I've been a member of in some occasions for many years, which usually means my late teens.  That is soon to be 7 years ago, and frankly, I'm a little tired of still being in the same mould.  You see it is pretty easy to spout bile on forums, and when you feel the need to grow up a little bit, or "lighten up" you are doing so with the added difficulty of redefining your "online forum membership persona" and it can be extremely difficult to step back from it, and remind yourself that you're a lot older than you were when you started it.

You see, this leads me to Games, because Games get older and change (bask in the glory of my horrendous linkage), much in the same way as you do, and your relationships with them change.  This generally leads you to being disaffected, even angry, about something you had very little input in steering, if any.  Although as most people in this world knows, you spent a lot of money on it, and other investments, so you probably feel like you are owed some shares in it.  Here's to hoping, maggots.

[How I miss that Nightmare board game.  Remember when it was you who was the little maggot?]

There are many ways to combat it, but as my last article demonstrates, most people expect you to kindly take your opinions elsewhere or put up and shut up.  When you find yourself so convinced that everyone else is wrong, it can be hard to make either commitment, especially when you still care.  In particular, Games Workshop and its myriad of employees should have got used to this by now.  Their leopard has changed its spots so often that it is now actually a Tiger.  Or a Wildebeest.  Or a stoat.  Or a halibut.  Or more likely, it's just yet another in a long line of red herrings.

Privateer Press, on the other hand, is quite new to this.  Judging from Warmachine Mk 2, they might need some practice...

Games often change, and despite any indication to the contrary, every company who makes one will always say it is for the best, it needs it, etc, rather than more obvious reason that they need to keep on making money, and thus need to re-sell you everything again.  That comes with the pretence of change, because everyone has been telling you for the past 3 years that Citizen Kane looks so much better in HD.

Now, Wargames, for their part, do actually change.  They have to really, because if you're selling another book which simply allows people to play, you had better have done something with it, even if it is simply to make it 500% thicker , increase the price and actually make it so that games are even bigger, and not particularly that much better than they were last time.

One wonders whether GW realised the practicalities of a needlessly oversized and heavy TOME for a moderately scaled tabletop wargame.  Sure, there's the little book in their boxed set, but what's the point in the other one?  Don't tell me there's some moron out there who thinks GW's rules are good enough to be collectable? 

One second: **searches the internet**

My God...

Anyway, Gameplay innovation can come hand in hand with change, as it is when it is first introduced.  Sure there is innovation from previous editions, but I would like to explore the whole concept of Games Mechanics and Innovation in the Wargaming Hobby.  In GW's case, it probably wont take me very long, so I thought initially it might be a good idea if the next part of this series discussed Gimmicks.

Until then,

TWC

Friday, 29 October 2010

Shut Up and Enjoy the Silence

 I'm sure there are benefits to not being cynical where hobbies are concerned.  If you like something, or someone, you often overlook some of the more annoying qualities, because overall, you truly like it.  Trouble is, that often time, and additional exposure to such interests can lead to complications. 

You replace misty-eyed idealism with bordering psychosis.  Whilst most of the time everything seems as nice as normal, there are a few things, certain words or phrases, which can cause a rage, deep depression, weeping and incredibly large amounts of angst.  You find that whatever it is, it matters so much to you that you love it as much as you hate it, and take turns hating everyone else who hates it when you don't, and hating everything about it whilst everyone else hates you.

It can get so bad that when you find things about your subject of affection that annoy you, that even mentioning them becomes fuel for further misery as well.  When you throw in the internet, fanboyz and internet forums, you have a recipe for disaster.  It's so bad, you do start to wonder when it will become a routine documentary on Discovery.

Your fondness is still there, but every time you try to fight the niggling parts that threaten your devotion to it, time eventually gives way to an increasingly larger amount of loathing.  Naturally, Wargaming is one of those things that can do it in for you, especially GW games.  The thing to remember is it combines a great deal of Serious Business occupations of time into one shared passtime: modelling, miniature collecting, rules lawyering, competition, gaming, painting, writing, drawing, creativity, statistics, tactics, semantics, metagaming, space marines, cock-fighting, ante-upping, munchkin practices, powergaming, elitism, hobbyism, maths, social etiquette, winning, losing, drawing, list writing, FAQing, tournaments, moaning, expensive interests, time investment outweighing enjoyment, injury, death, MMO slang, space marines, catchphrases, other catchphrases, terrain building, obsessive hobby disorder, hatred of slight differences, fear of change, edition debates, rules debates, debate debates, and space marines.  This is not an exhaustive list.

Sounds like a blast doesn't it, or did some of you genuinely wonder why I called this blog The Wargaming Cynic?

So the obvious presents itself.  You're going to vent steam.  That steam may never actually stop venting.  Unfortunately, the catch_22 is that the only places to vent steam (i.e. in the direction of people who know what you're talking about) are the same places where you find people who aren't quite as 'disenchanted' as you are.

It may be because their time has not yet arrived, or perhaps you are over-exaggerating.  Most likely, however, it is because your tolerances, tastes and general views are utterly different.  Regardless of the reason, there are some fanboys that simply do not tolerate anyone slamming their favourite thing.  Granted, a great deal of us "slammers" spend far too much time doing it, a comparable Dick Dastardly flaw (if Dastardly didn't stop to build traps he would easily win each Wacky Race - if cynics shut up about their problems for a bit they'd probably get more enjoyment out of the hobby, whereas moaning about it usually makes it worse), and as a result, the fan's collective patience runs out and you get a shut up or bugger off ultimatum.

In a way it is fair enough, but expecting everyone to be always happy is extremely naive.  This is particularly because all emotions run high with things you invest in with any amount of interest.  The longer you have those interests, the harder it gets to control them.  You'll react as a personal insult to changes you don't like, or people moaning about changes you do like.

So where does it lead?  Well nowhere, of course.  Although undoubtedly, a few voices make a difference, they are typically usually fruitless, especially with GW who seem to be immune to the need to write stuff very well.  However despite this, there is a need for everyone.  If you didn't have hideously loyal and protective fanboys, nothing would be sacred, and everything would eventually be dismissed.

However, you do need the naysayers, ruining your happy discussions about your interest, because companies expect (indeed, want) you to be happy.  That is the whole point.  Your happiness is a free advertisement.  Likewise any negative vibes from employees or embittered fanboys is bad publicity, and can turn people off.  Sometimes, there's no decent reason behind it, but people need high standards and be prepared to vent when they aren't met or the standard you are given lowers.

Here's an analogy for you in closing.  The food critic doesn't have much time for the hamburger.  It is made by the lowest bidder for the lowest common denominator.  They may care more for fancier food, like a fine medium rare T-Bone steak.  The Hamburger is nice, but it doesn't exactly require much more than basic training and a microwave to prepare.  If nobody made a big deal about taste, then you wouldn't have any choice, we'd all be eating hamburgers.

They're not bad, as a food item, but there is better, so on occasion, it is worth demanding better.  40k is a hamburger, being marketed as a T-bone steak.  You deserve better than that.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Load the Canon!

It doesn't take you long, really.  Sooner or later, any passing interest in something good will lead you to (if you're not already on it) the Internet these days.  This will mean that not only do you find out more than you ever wanted to about your chosen interest, but it will also lead you to discover the area of interest's fanboys.  Fanboys are an interesting breed.  They are identical to Fangirls, and by no means better, but a term you see more often, despite being the same, save for a few anatomical and philosophical differences; give or take.

As most of us know by now, the term "Fan" is short for Fanatic, and the term is usually quite aptly appropriate.  When you enter the realm/s of a particular subject matter's fanbase (a literal Fan-Base, if you will), you had better bring a fair share of ear and eye protection, and be bloody well careful exactly what you say about the subject matter in question.

To be a fan, one presumes, is to take more than a passing interest in a given subject.  You really, really like it, and you want to make this particular opinion known, and join with others who share this opinion.  It can lead to the extreme zealousness to which you would expect of any fanatic in the worst case, and in the lightest case, they might only burn you or chuck rocks at you some of the time.  Now obviously, this is mostly hyperbole, or at least you'd hope so.  If you believe that for one second, I suggest you cancel your subscription to your web provider.

40k has more than its fair share of the worst examples of this.  As a particularly successful (for some reason) Wargame, it has a large following, who are understandably protective of it, as it attracts an awful lot of hate from its fans and fans of other wargames.  Boy, just about everything GW does raises controversy, a lot of hate, and the collective blood pressure of the lovers and the haters.  Aside of the actual game, the background of Warhammer 40,000 in particular attracts a great deal of attention.  It is regarded quite widely as one of the best (if only) features of the game, and held in great esteem.

What is it then, that makes 40k such a compelling background?

Quite simply, it has everything.  Epic battles, characterful factions, darkness, decay, narm, wangst, and, of course, the bloody space marines.  Don't ever, forget, the bloody space marines.  Try as you might to hate them, you will, but it will take you an awful long time to hate them all.  The story of 40k is immensely huge, with lots of twists, turns, betrayals, tragedies, sacrifices and space marines.  From the heroic and tragic Saga of the Horus Heresy, to the virtual pastiche of the whole background that is Caiphas Cain, it is deep and full of character, albeit of a consistently darkened tone.

Of course, being linked to a hobby, it has lots of holes and inconsistencies, some deliberate, some by nature of many cooks spoiling the broth - either way, most of the fans aren't happy about it.  If you are not familiar with the term Fluff Nut, a few searches through the forums dedicated to the universe of 40k will quickly remedy this issue.

You will find just how much of a battleground 40k is.  You will find the battleground that is the war of 40k's canon.  The trouble with fans, of course, is that they want to know everything.  Often the first victim of fanaticism is whimsy ("ha, the silly little things"), and this generally means that knowing enough, is not quite enough.  What was once opinion, or unknown to you, becomes known, and often "fact".  Once it becomes fact, you're in trouble, because you're going to spend what little remains of your pathetic, insignificant life telling other people that they are wrong in the most ardent of language.

Well they are wrong to do that, the bloody morons.

Of course, this causes a great problem for 40k.  One of the most alluring aspects of Warhammer 40,000 is the creative aspect of the entire game, the ability to add your own narrative to the existing background.  Unfortunately there are great many of 40k players out there for whom the concept of new ideas or individual fluff is pure anathema.  To them, there are only 21 first founding space marine chapters, and they know what the two expunged ones are, so don't try anything.  Of course, there are only, ever, 6 Ork Clans, there is no Hive Bob the Hungry, and the Emperor's middle name is not Ted.  Some of this knowledge, is probably sensible, but it misses the whole point of what a creative hobby is.

A lot of people mistake the Canon of a creative work for the last word on the subject, or an all-encompassing rule of thumb for the entire universe it describes.  In Sci Fi circles we have a common habit amongst fans and writers alike to promote an ethos of racial stereotyping, especially of aliens, who are always the same.  They may have individual traits as a character, but they will never be able to overcome the 'alienness' of their race, and do something out of character.

In Warhammer 40,000, you are not going to find a clever or eloquent Ork.  This is quite a sweeping statement, which made based on reading all (or more likely just some) of the background available and understanding none of it.  People can get as xenophobic and prejudiced as the Imperial religious fanatics they read about.  Fluff-nuts will turn the word "most" into "all" and the "potential" into "impossible" without actually thinking about what fiction actually is.

You get phrases such as "Word of God" which refers to information gleaned from writers (or official sources and such).  The universe of warhammer 40,000 was not handed down from the heavens on the backs of beautiful seraphim and copied by prophets, although it was for profit (yes, that was very bad).

Fiction is not about presenting all that matters, it is about presenting information which describes the world that the author wishes you to dive into.  There may be laws and fundamentals to be observed, and these may be worth noting and in that case, you may be able to resolve an idea close to "fact".  However most of the time it is about information.  All information is not always accurate or representative of everything.

For instance, it is an often used misconception that Orks are immune to the influence of Chaos.  They aren't.  They are very resistant and mistrustful of it.  This does not, however, make them immune.  It just means that your every-man-Ork will hate and deeply mistrust the influence of Chaos, but they may end up influenced by it.  Blood Axes (especially Storm Boyz) are particularly the likely sort of Ork to be tempted by Chaos, especially Khorne, who represents similar ideals of war and bloodshed, something the war-ready Ork can identify with.

It is important to remember that when dealing with a hobby, people are going to tell their own tales.  So long as they have done enough research, then this is no more wrong than for the official writers to add to it.  In fact in a few cases, there are people out there doing a better job than the ones supposedly creating the official canon.

What is it with fanboys constantly berating others for creativity?  Well it obviously has something to do with clinging to the one aspect of life they are hoping to fully comprehend, and running around enforcing the law of their own ignorance in fear that someone else with less respect for the order of things will spoil it.  To be honest with something like 40k, it's not the other fans you have to worry about.  It's the idiots who are making it.  Matt *@$#^$#& Ward.  Yeah.

Back (and still) In Black...

I would like to start with an apology. I started this blog thinking that I'd get instant readership, and also that I'd still be much of a Wargamer a few months after starting. I hadn't quite expected GW to still be letting their little Weapon of Mass Detraction that is Matthew "Now A Gamer's Curse Word" Ward write stuff. A master stroke, a truly flooring experience; of similar note to the utter penis move that is Warmachine Mk II and its slogan "Screwing up two games so you don't have to".

So, sorry and everything, but a small hiatus was in order.

But now I'm back, and just as utterly dejected. Maybe a little more, actually. Getting back into gaming has been utterly slow to say the least. One thing that has continued though is my interest in the background stories of Warhammer 40,000, which has been distracting me from the worst codex (or even army book/faction) writing ever, and two of my other favourite games taking radical face heel turns for the extra buck: Warmachine wants you to buy more models so you get more practice with its fucked up points system, and Warhammer Fantasy wants you to play very, very, very big games indeed. It doesn't take a genius to realise that Warhammer 40,000 6th Edition will be uncannily akin to Apocalypse, without, you know, the choice of not playing it.

So, in addition to my likely extended amount of ranting about 40k in TWG series, I happily announce that I have a whole other place for ranting, called
"It's a Hard Fluff Life..." until I come up with a better name. Between the two, there should be a few articles to break up the fluff, and articles should increase in frequency. Once I've got a larger amount of followers, I will increase output considerably, so please, let me know you're reading!

Thanks for reading!

TWC

It's a Hard Fluff Life...

Welcome to this new addition to TWC.

In HFL, I rant and rave about the hard and unbelievably melodramatic and otherwise very unimportant world of fantasy fan-fiction, fiction and generally, the fictional universe of Warhammer 40,000. As your very own Cynic is very much involved in writing fan-fiction (or fan-fluff) for this genre, it is naturally not all that surprising that I regularly find bits about it that annoy me, from writers I don't like, to attitudes to fluff and a million other things that annoy me. If you read this expecting some moaning from an egotistical writer, you'll see this is exactly what is on the tin, so to speak. Minus the tin.

This here blog is 100% tin free.

So anyway, the background of Warhammer 40,000. For those who don't know it, the universe of Warhammer 40k is the setting of the elaborate and long running saga of the Imperium of Mankind, led by the Emperor, a God-like entity, struck down by one of his own sons - nay, his favourite - 10 millennia ago and has spent the intervening time on a life-support machine just so the Imperium's centre of worship and stability sticks around, fed daily with the souls of countless Psykers.

The Imperium is a decaying and decadent religious schism of Gothic-Roman Catholic styling, protected by the ever-present stoic space knights, the Space Marines, the Imperium's greatest (and reasurringly well armoured) weapon. You know, where Bungie got the idea for a silent and tragic, virtually invincible hero surrounded by evil aliens from. With the help of the Imperial Guard (an amalgam of History's Military of every creed imaginable), the Sisters of Battle (nuns with guns, hell yeah), the everything-phobic Inquisition (bet nobody expected I'd mention them) and some more Space Marines, if you weren't already tired of seeing them.

Together, these warriors fight against the threats of the Imperium, which is everybody else, basically. The Eldar (Space Elves), Dark Eldar (Space Dark Elves), Space Orks (Space Orcs, duh!), Chaos (Chaos), Tyrannids (C'Thulu), Tau (cos Anime is down with the kids), and the Necrons (Tomb Kings, pretty much). Who all want to kill the humans, everyone else, and otherwise destroy the Universe, for no particularly explored reason. It is hard to spot the bad guy, because everyone, even all the human factions, are all pretty unsavoury.

It is a lot better than it sounds from this summary (which is rather annoyingly similar to the last one I did earlier in the year). Try as you might to get so incensed by the huge amounts of cliché material that can be found in 40k, you will end up liking it anyway. Don't be under any illusions, it is pretty much all there. Everything. Everything you have ever read, thought or even vomited up for breakfast - it's there (and if it isn't there are the new Beasts of Chaos from fantasy to represent particularly unpleasant vomit). It seems that when you put every cliché together, it somehow makes it right, and feels fresh. Who would have thought a 30 year old pastiche of cliché, grim-dark Sci-Fi would evolve into the manifestation of both Wargaming's most successful system and its biggest scrappy all at once.

There are people standing in a line longer than the eventual amount of paper you will need to read the entirety of the Black Library's Horus Heresy novels just to spout incessant hate upon 40k and its makers, Games Workshop. Yet despite this, if you're willing to sit down and read some of the fluff (background material), you will quickly realise you are reading some brilliant sci-fi (in places) and otherwise easily the best story background for any Wargame. The background is so epic, you want to take part in it, even if the rules don't quite do it enough justice.

As will become apparent, I love reading about, and writing 40k fluff, especially fluff centred around the Orks, who are quite easily to my mind the most interesting and enjoyable faction in the entire game. I find the Orks fascinating, and well, a lot of my fluff on this blog will feature them. But that's a whole different story, or even section. Here is where I moan about the state of the fluff, old and new of Warhammer 40,000. (and sometimes other fiction mediums) Because when I'm not gaming, I'm still writing fan-fluff, and well, there's plenty of grievances from me just on that...

It's a hard life being a fluffer.

Friday, 26 February 2010

The Bloodpact Saga

The Bloodpact Saga

Chapter 1: The Seal of Decay

“Diz plaze iz hell…” the Kaptin muttered carelessly. The planet’s three suns had all reached a prominent enough horizon to shine light upon the wastes of the long dead imperial world. Bordrukk sniffed, as he put his cigar back to his mouth, sucking in the damp and acrid smoke that exhilarated his senses. His exhale blew a cloud of dark smoke, which for a second obscured the sight that was before him. He stared blankly upon the ruins of an old Forgeworld; the ground littered with factories and temples stretching beyond his sight in an overtly orderly, square-shaped fashion. “Umies…” He sighed; their precise and lavish constructions were so intensively built with great care and planning but were just as easy to demolish as any Ork Town, and Bordrukk would know; for as a Blood Axe Mercenary, he had served armies that had laid waste to both.

It did not matter where Bordrukk looked; it was eternally the same symptom. There was not one building that he could see that seemed worthy or indeed capable of yielding any significant loot. The buildings were grey, and even as the suns rose further into positions lofty enough to provide light upon the wrecked earth below; the sullen tone remained, as if the buildings were eternally cursed with the bleakness of decay. All was in ruins. He perceived an emptiness broken only by rubble and broken statues: the fallen remnants of their architects’ whim. Lying, snapped in two, they appear as if in protest to the indignity of a decaying death. Not that this presented itself to the Ork Kaptin in anything other than Goosebumps.

The discordant noise behind him took him away from his thoughts and he glanced around at his squad of Kommandos, busy as they were doing nothing but joking and shouting amongst themselves. “Shut it, yoo lot.” He growled at them. His small unit were a pretty disciplined lot, but they were still Orks, and prone to clownin’ abowt quite often, and usually at the wrong time. “But dere’s noffink ‘ere!” muttered Dreggitz, Bordrukk’s best ‘snikka’*. Bordrukk offered him and the rest of the unit a scowl. He rarely needed to do more than this, although it was hard not to simply share the statement, especially as he had also lapsed into a state of disbelief at their position.

(*Snikka: a term used to describe an Ork, usually a Kommando, that is adept at close quarter fighting and particularly when in reference to Kommandos, the ability to dispatch foes silently and quickly).

His mind was focussed on his orders. He had been ordered to hold his position, but it had been a good while since those orders had been given. His Boss, Gargutz, had been gone for a long time. He was finding it hard to understand how and where Gargutz had gone. It was pretty clear, at least to him; the place was a complete dump. Bordrukk had no idea what his new employer could have possibly found here. As far as he was concerned, the ‘umies may be a useful resource, but whatever it was that had happened to them had left nothing of interest to the Orks. The place looked so under the thumb of time that he had no idea how long this place had remained, for the planet itself seemed to have left it in the condition it was the day that it had begun to crumble.

Bordrukk stubbed out his Cigar on his left bicep, and looked around at his mob. They stood immediately to attention; they knew the expression on his face well. Ork Kommandos were a solid unit, they spent their lives together, and they knew each other so well that they barely needed to speak. Most communication was made via glances, various bodily gestures and hand movements; most of these had very slight variations. The unit knew them instinctively, even Ugzag, the yoof of the unit who had only been with them shortly before their campaign had resumed. The Kommandos were also fiercely insular and deeply mistrustful of outside authority, and particularly of orders: especially the boring ones that they didn’t like doing.

Bordrukk nodded at the unit. They responded in kind, formed up into a loose skirmish formation, and moved out. He knew exactly where they were heading; he had seen what had so fascinated Gargutz, and he had decided that their next action should be determined from this position. By this point, they had spread out, and were easily hidden to the untrained or focussed eye. Kommandos are adept at sneaking. It is believed that the Orks learned this from humans, whilst others believe Orks have always been capable of such techniques when hunting. It is hard to imagine that such big and brutish creatures were capable of such subtle movement.

The Kommandos had their craft practiced into a precise art. The second that their ship had landed upon the earth, they had all been out, searching buildings in small groups, and securing the area. Upon establishing a safe perimeter, they began to blend into the surroundings. Ork hands are particularly useful for crushing rock and debris, as well as grabbing huge handfuls of dirt and grit, which are then applied liberally upon the Ork’s person, used to form a colouring layer over cloaks and clothing, and a small amount of Fungus Brew or Ork saliva, added to a handful of crushed dirt and grit, mixed into a paste and applied to the skin. Kommandos are not squeamish about any camouflage; they are only seen to be noticeably less calm without it.

Their progress was always slow; Bordrukk didn’t believe there was ever a moment where the Kommandos shouldn’t benefit from the element of surprise. Dagsnik and Gulgor scouted ahead, whilst the majority of the unit slowly moved through whatever terrain laid ahead, using cover and moving silently. After some progress, a strange noise could be heard. To a Feral Ork, the sound would be the call of a Squig that had won a territorial fight with another Squig, but to the unit, it was a call that a body had been found. Bordrukk knew the caller; the subtle grunt in the voice identified the alerted sentry as Nazdakka, the oldest Kommando in his unit.

As they closed on Nazdakka’s position, the scent of death lay in the air. The old Kommando was crouched, leaning a slight upon the barrel of his Big Shoota. He stared at the Boss, who had already met a different gaze. The body hung upon a strange stone pillar by ancient binds, and seemed to remain in place by the merest of certainty; as if the wretched corpse itself also suffered from the same curse of timelessness that plagued the whole planet. The victim upon the strange pillar was once human. Its robes at one time could well have been a crimson red, but were now a lifeless shadow that bore little of the colour it had once been. The corpse was little but a decaying ske.leton; the lifelessness of the air, as bitter as it was, existed to delay the process of decay upon the few remaining shreds of sinew; all that remained to keep the pathetic corpse intact.

Bordrukk looked in fascination at what lay before him. He had seen things like this before, and it disturbed him that the humans, so quick to dismiss him as a mere savage, could do this to its own kind. The pathetic creature’s face was deformed; its jaw agape as if protesting in death at the indignity of decay. Gazing into the corpse’s eyes, Bordrukk wondered what had become of this human. He never did understand such brutality. Even in his own culture, the brutal displays of destruction and aggression of his fellow Ork failed to take hold in his mind. He had given everything he had to reach a position of isolation, to fight, hunt and kill. He wondered why the humans so often did the job for him.

Even an Ork could not miss the symbolism of the body that hung before them. It was as an example to others. Usually when a Warboss made a similar gesture, he’d knock the snot out of some uppity Nob. If the Nob was lucky, it would live, and it usually wouldn’t. But Orks did nothing so odd to the Ork’s corpse. An Ork was free in death; the battle was over, and the score, whatever it was, would be settled and laid to rest.

But at once, the question was answered. Ugzag the Yoof produced a strange item that seemed to have fallen from the corpse. It immediately caught his attention. It was a strange, thin and metal rectangular object. It glowed as daylight, a precious metal of high quality preserved by the thin air. Upon it were markings. Bordrukk immediately recognised it as Imperial Gothic, the language of the humans, more specifically, that of the Imperium. He did not understand the writing, but he did not need to. The symbol at the bottom of the plaque was familiar enough. He had encountered it before.

The Orks had sacked a planet he had been involved in a few Waaaghs back. The planet had changed hands numerously at that time, and the Imperial Forces had only recently crushed a Rebellion by settlements that had been tainted by chaos. Bordrukk had been part of a Mob that had raided a strange temple and slaughtered an odd collection of humans. The leader wore an elaborate white power armoured suit, and upon it was a symbol – an II. It was the symbol of the Inquisition. He now knew much about them, and knew that they enforced the will of their dominant religious figure, and tortured humans who had dismissed the teachings of their ‘God’, the Emperor of Mankind.

Bordrukk had not the wit to read the writing, but he knew this victim had been accused of some misdeed in the eyes of the Inquisition. The writing upon the plaque was as clear as day:

Exterminatus Hereticus
II

Bordrukk now knew that the humans had cleansed their own planet. As he looked around he began to wonder why. The situation disturbed him, but there was little he could do. It was then that a whistle rang in the air. It was a call, from one of the two scouts Dagsnik and Gulgor, a call to their location. Bordrukk gestured with his arms to move out, and the whole unit left the corpse to its eternal punishment.

Dagsnik and Gulgor lay up ahead, and they pointed towards the footprints of a suitably large group of Orks that they had been tracking. Bordrukk had noticed the prints of a number of Orks next to the strange corpse, and they had obviously headed this way. He looked upon his two scouts with a look that suggested his thoughts to be “Wat Uv It?” the two scouts responded by pointing to his left, in the corner of the building in which they now stood. It was a mural, depicting a strange creature. He had seen one or two of them before, and they were unnatural things that appeared as if out of nowhere. This one however, was different. It was a large, horned creature, with a strange humanoid face; it was stern yet equally fierce. It wore dark armour and held a large sword. The creature sat upon a throne, which itself sat upon a huge mound of skulls, surrounded by water. The water was red, as was the symbol below it. He had seen it before, and he knew the name for which it stood. He looked at it in disbelief. “Khorne” the Kaptin spoke with a tone of disgust. The mural slid to the side, and revealed a darkened staircase leading into the bowels of the planet.

Kaptin Bordrukk looked up at his mob. They returned a similar glance. Bordrukk looked into the opening that had only suddenly appeared; he saw nothing but an inky blackness. The more he looked into it, the more odd he felt. The opening seemed to widen, as if it was about to engulf him. He felt a strange feeling in his mind, and without any gesture, he began to move, cautiously, towards the opening. Hesitantly, the mob followed and they all descended into the darkness…

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

In The Grim Darkness Of The Far Future There Is Only Worse

In the Wargaming universe, the name Games Workshop requires no introduction; of their many games (of only a few of which they still bother to promote) Warhammer 40,000 is the best known, and their greatest breadwinner. GW has a staggering domination of the Wargaming market, a claimed percentage of somewhere around 99% of it. Not at all surprising for a company powerful enough to market itself with its own shop/store, bearing the company’s name in stark red and yellow lettering.

Games Workshop is the veritable Nintendo of the Wargaming world, with their own poster boy standing as a particular example of their success. Nintendo has Mario, the tirelessly boot stomping plumber; Games Workshop has the space marines. If you asked a GW fan to name a memorable symbol that best defines their products, you could safely bet that most would (reluctantly or not) say the Space Marines.

It is truly hard not to. As Halo has determined (surely developed from the idea of the Space Marines themselves) that a well armoured, otherwise quite uncharacteristic warrior with a deadly automatic weapon embodies enough inflated badassment to sell itself with very little effort. It is quite ironic that Space Marines are held as a rather innovative and original invention, considering that really, GW just took their Warhammer Fantasy system and plonked all their races (including armoured questing knights) into a (still rather magical and mystical) futuristic universe.

GW are not entirely unaware of this tendency, and their Space Dwarfs (well, Dwarves – The Squats as they were known) took a rather speedy exit just to avoid the blatant comparison; although retaining Space Marines (Knights), Space Orks (Orcs and Goblins – with a hint of Skaven innovation), Necrons (Undead and Tomb Kings), Imperial Guard (Empire with modern warfare thrown in), Eldar, Dark Eldar and the Harlequins (pretty much all of the Elves) and of course Chaos. The edition of the blatantly Anime Tau Empire and the disturbingly Aliens/Cthuluesque Tyrannids (who in my opinion share the Skaven theme with Orks) don’t necessarily hide GW’s fondness for taking as much popular and geek culture conventions as they can into their gaming settings.

The question is, does this matter? My answer is a perplexing mix of yes and no. Yes, because you cannot even look at a sentence in any GW work without reeling from an overdose of the cliché, finding it very easy to draw cultural and literary connections to other works. This would not be so bad if not for the utterly staggering amount of it that they have fitted into it of the many decades they’ve had to do it. If you spend your life in a vain search to locate ‘original’ material, you’ll find it hard pressed to do it at Games Workshop.

GW’s success however highlights one simple thing. People like the cliché. I know I do, because that is how stories work. The more you know before you approach something, makes it all the more easy to understand and communicate. What GW has done is make a living out of giving us, essentially, what we all want. Besides, it would be wholly unfair to say that GW hasn’t even attempted to spin their own yarns from it. In almost all of their games, they have. 40k more than any others has a vastly deep and interesting narrative. If there was one thing I’d say that was outstanding about Warhammer 40,000, it is the setting and the narrative attached to it.

The far-flung universe of Warhammer 40,000 is a dark and cynical time. Endless war, and a rogue’s gallery of demented races all entirely determined to wipe humanity off the face of the galaxy: just to show they truly care. Humanity’s ultimate weapon is of course the Space Marines, but that hasn’t stopped the foul Gods of chaos perverting some of their own to chuck back at them.

One of the unfortunate aspects of the 40k universe is that you literally cannot breathe for Space Marines. In the 40k section of any Games Worshop store they take up a majority of the shelf space, and if one of their staff is going to try and peddle something to you, it’ll be their power armoured poster boys. GW it seems quickly hit on the coolness factor of Space Marines and quickly realised they are 40k’s main selling point.

Unfortunately, it is disgustingly true. Everyone who plays 40k plays because of Space Marines. Perhaps because when they started up and first got hooked to the game, they started up playing space marines, because ‘they’re easy to use’, or simply through the course of playing fell in love with those inflated stats and highly resistant armour saves; or because they utterly hate the much-adored Space Marines so much that they spend most of their gaming life trying to destroy them, or working up schemes to destroy them. A lot of the older gamers (such as myself) have been through more than one of these phases, if not all of them. These days I am vehemently in the latter category.

As I have mentioned previously, the reason for their popularity is fairly obvious. Aside of most of the romantic and heroic storylines of the setting being devoted to them, on the gaming table they are bloody ferocious, ridiculously hard to kill, and annoyingly easy to use. Unfortunately, the background of Warhammer 40,000 shows that there is nowhere near as many Space Marines in the fictional universe as what you will see on the gaming table. Every marine death is a tragedy because in the story background, they are ridiculously difficult to replace with new troops as these super-human warriors take decades of genetic and biological manipulation and training to get to the stage where they are battle-ready.

The spotlight does tend to take its toll on the gaming experience. The marines have enough of their own codices (Codex Space Marines, Chaos Space Marines, Daemonhunters and the Marine Chapter Specifics: Space Wolves, Blood Angels, Dark Angels and Black Templars) that they can (and invariably do) alternate between Codex releases of non-marine factions and marine factions consistently.

With GW’s way of working, the newest Codex does tend to have a number of edges over the previous releases, and often this isn’t simply the fact that they are ‘new’. 40k (and WHFB as well) is being developed mid-release, so ideas are being taken further with subsequent releases. I assume the idea is to keep the system innovative between lengthy rulebook updates (which come around every 5 years), but the side-effect is leaving older codices behind, including books supposedly written for the same edition of the rulebook.

Imperial Guard and the loyalist Space Marines in particular have really broke away from some of the earlier books that will probably stay for most if not all of 5th Edition. The Chaos players are virtually catatonic (but more on that in a future entry), and the differences are rather noticeable. Fortunately the mutual points limit is a half-decent balancing factor, but some of the differences are utterly blatant. It is really hard to encounter a Space Marine army without a number of special characters in it, who are blatantly cheap and good for what they bring to the army, getting players screaming ‘cheese’ and ‘broken’ with such frequency that it has over-shrouded the outrage that many players muttered about the recent Ork update, that is already starting to be outclassed.

Of course some of the older books in particular are looking very, very outdated. The Dark Eldar Codex in particular is now 12 years old, and has seen 3 edition changes, and has been around since pretty much the first month of the release of the first edition it witnessed, 3rd Edition 40k (with only a slight expansion on their Wargear Section and some Vehicle Upgrades to show for all the time the Dark Eldar players have waited).

Of recent times, 5th Edition has made Dark Eldar competitive again, but you’ll be hard pressed to find someone who plays them, to an even lesser degree than of the Orks (before the new codex came out) even back when they were released. The few remaining Dark Eldar players are naturally terrified that they will be the next Squats, and make a rather blatant exit explained by a dramatic fluff event in a vain attempt to hide the fact that like the Squats, they had character, but didn’t sell very well.

You will hear some of the Squat players at this point mutter something about the Demierg that appeared in Battlefleet Gothic as an effort to suggest that the Squats weren’t entirely annihilated. But those players should bear in mind that all this means is that they were indeed annihilated, and that GW made their point clear about them with a catastrophically bad attempt at a comeback.

This brings me on to the main gaming system. Warhammer 40,000 5th Edition was warmly welcomed by most of its fans (hardly surprising, I did call GW the Nintendo of wargames providers), although some army’s players were noticeably dismayed. The easiest way to convey the main factions’ disappointment is with this picture:

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There is one thing that Games Workshop attracts more than money spent on space marines, it is moaning. 5th Edition in particular has attracted a lot of it, and a considerable amount just from people like me on online forums. There is a lot of merit to this however, but before I point attention to the smelly parts of the ruleset, I will first say that I feel GW is far closer than they were at balancing than in 4th Edition, and that some of the changes has encouraged some use of actual tactics for a change.

Right when 5th Edition was released, you could find a picture of some bloke looking down upon the battlefield to demonstrate how the new line of sight system worked (a picture I have saved for prosperity, which I shall add when I remember where the hell I put it). That’s right, you look. True Line of Sight (or TLOS) is now the new way you select targets and determine how you see them in 40k. Before 5th Edition, the rules were a lot clunkier in that you had to determine how deep into cover the unit was, and there’d be a lot of arguments over what the cover was, and whether it could be seen (at least that’s the running argument on it).

Incidentally a number of games I have seen and took part in since 5th Edition have featured even more arguments over LOS than ever. It is hardly surprising. Not only will everyone second-guess what you can see, you have a subjective system that is certainly quicker but a lot less efficient. With the system of cover saves as it is there is very little intuitive about the system. What you have is a gimmicky system, based on the idea of getting you more immersed and trying to keep things ‘simple’.

“And with the new line of sight rules, like I said earlier, the whole perception of how you play your games has changed. You no longer stand aloof above proceedings; you get involved at a model's eye level, participating in every shot fired. It works, but above all it is fun.” (Warhammer 40,000 Design Notes)

The reason it doesn’t work is best emphasised by shooting-heavy forces such as Orks with lots of Shootas and Lootas, Tau and Imperial Guard. The majority of 40k terrain is built with accommodating miniatures in mind, making it easier for them to move through. It is almost impossible to fully hide a whole unit anymore, and what’s more is that any shots thrown their way are not hampered by difficulties to accuracy, but merely provide a ‘cover save’. Thus you can pepper armies with fire, and let them take whatever save they want, knowing any 2s and 1s are usually going to be bad.

TLOS isn’t necessarily bad. Other skirmish gaming systems use it, but it requires innovative rules design to be anything more than a gimmick. GW has not accomplished that. The disadvantage of cover is handed to the recipient of shooting attacks, not the other way around. Cover should prevent successful hits, not allow more and give a trivial save that most wont use. The only real advantage from it is ‘Go To Ground’ which is only really effective if you are sitting a unit on an objective and you don’t intend to use them.

What is truly sad is that a slight tightening of the 4th Edition cover rules would be overall a much fairer way of determining cover without having to change the 40k system to make new ideas work. What is truly ironic is that GW decided to scrap this and go with a new approach without bothering to change the 40k system to make the new ideas work. Something for another edition no doubt, the cynic would surely be forgiven for assuming they planned it that way.

The new missions are at least interesting, although it doesn’t take a huge genius to realise most of the credit goes to the designers of Dawn of War, and were merely fitted into the 40k system probably as an afterthought. They do however encourage actual tactics, such as actually moving your units. Running means combat armies are a little better than they used to be, and in many ways, the changes have worked to make the game at least more balanced (ignoring Codex Creep anyway).

Probably aside of TLOS, the main failure in the system is Wound Allocation. For a game trying to streamline things, it has attached a rather large breezeblock to the front. The system is just far too clunky to work. It also encourages the rolling ‘buckets of dice’ approach to gaming that tends to be a common argument as to why 40k is about as tactical as a game of snakes and ladders. Plus, it has led to a huge exploit, where multi-wound units can chuck wounds around for ages without dying so long as they are all uniquely equipped. This has made Ork Nobs in particular a much nastier unit than perhaps intended.

The main failing of GW’s release system is constantly faffing around with their games. There doesn’t seem to be any effort to balance it out or move towards something refined. It just seems a bit like jumbling up the elements every now and then to sell something with the same name as something a bit different. 40k is on the verge improvement, but every time it takes a step forward, it takes several back. We are far away from some cohesive proof as to why Warhammer 40,000 is one of the most popular Wargames on the planet.

This is longer than I wanted it to be, and probably old news to most of you. However as this blog is new, I’m playing catch-up, and I will be getting to newer, juicier issues soon, hopefully less verbosely.

Thanks for reading.

TWC.

Forget the power of the consumer and common sense, for so much has been removed, never to be returned. Forget the promise of progress and innovative game design, for in the grim dark game dev’s office there is only profit. There is no peace among the staff, only an eternity of faffing about and disaster, and the laughter of inferior men, living off the genius of long-departed gods.

In the future, there is only worse.