“However, disturbing as it sounds, these ‘facts’ become true. Red Ork vehicles do travel perceptibly faster than those of other colours, even when all other design aspects are nominally the same. Similarly, many captured Ork weapons and items of equipment should not work, and indeed do not work unless wielded by an Ork. I believe this is linked to the strong psychic aura surrounding all Orkoids and have developed the Anzion Theorem of Orkoid Mechamorphic Resonant Kinetics. I theorise that many Orks themselves think that they should work. The strong telekinetic abilities of the Orks’ subconscious somehow ensure that the machinery or weaponry functions as desired.”
(The “Other” Anzion Article, 3rd Edition Ork Codex, pg.48)
Almost all misconceptions in fiction are based upon a general misreading of a particular feature within it. It’s usually a blank, sweeping generalisation of something, usually acquired by taking a literal, unimaginative (and often incomplete) conclusion based upon only what is emphatically said, and/or taken from currently given examples. This is what I like to call stroking the canon. Most fanboys do it constantly, and there’s an easy way to spot it, just look for a moment when any fanboy says: “No, X wouldn’t do that…” That’s usually a good indicator that what they really mean is: “I have no imagination. I need this to be untrue because it rocks what little certainty remains in my life.”
We’re all probably guilty of this from time to time, usually unconsciously. Certainly, not every statement that claims a fictional entity can’t do something is wrong, because much of fiction relies on people intrinsically understanding things that are quite well (sometimes even rigidly) defined. But one should always be wary. A writer sometimes expects you to read between the lines, and take logical conclusions. There are many debates on the internet, that spout from the apparent logical paradoxes of actions committed, usually by characters or factions in fictional works, as if the only sensible solution they can come up with is the one characters are always going to arrive at, even in stressful situations.
It also pays if you actually truly understand the character or faction you’re ranting about.
So this leads me quite well to resonance. Resonance plays host for a myriad of quite horrific misconceptions, and is famously quite bad for confusing people, or being such an unknown entity that some 40k fans aren’t even aware that the fictional device exists at all! By far the worst of it though, is those who know it quite well, and use it with tiresome regularity as evidence that Orks suck, are stupid, or don’t make sense. Tonight, I will provide all Ork fans with the final and clinching argument that ends all of this nonsense, and to those who have used said argument, a quite thorough literal thrashing. Because anyone who says Ork guns only work because Orks think they do (what TV Tropes terms “Clap Your Hands If You Believe”) is actually wrong.
The key to understanding this particular misconception is actually the key to understanding the Orks.
Before we deal with the misconception, we should discuss why such a conclusion could be made. As I mentioned previously, all Orks are slightly psychic, and Orks utilise this energy via resonance, which controls various aspects of their biological processes (notably growth and replication), as well as assisting their existence by promoting success.
In addition to the benefits of the Waaagh! , resonance also has a massive impact upon the day-to-day needs and beliefs of Orkoids. Orkoid Resonance doesn’t actually stop working, and it is actually a constant that most likely affects all Orkoids in various ways throughout their existence: shaping, aiding and controlling the Orkoids’ progression in Ork society. The two best known of these applications are Orkoid Weapons and the infamous Red Paint Job.
The concept of Red Wunz Go Fasta will be well known to most Ork Players, and most likely most 40k players. How and why it works is all down to resonance, an aspect of which mentioned in the second Anzion article from the 3rd Edition Ork Codex (see Chapter quote above), and is termed: the Anzion Theorem of Orkoid Mechamorphic Resonant Kinetics. Quite hilariously pompous, but shortened to Mechamorphic Resonance, it can be somewhat functional.
As is explained in the article, its origins are likely quite innocent, with an imperceptible change in speed between two vehicles, one of which was red. Likewise it could also spring from ideas promoted by Evil Sunz and/or the Cult of Speed, trying to suggest that their vehicles were faster, or more likely they adopted red vehicles because they were indeed faster. One could theorise the origins of the true adage until the Squiggoths turn up, but it works for the Orks just the same.
Some people think that Andy Chambers invented this for 3rd Edition. This is partly right, Andy C probably was responsible for it, but the concept itself is as old as Rogue Trader, being mentioned in Waaargh The Orks! (like pretty much everything else, aside of sporing). Although the clear explanation is a 3rd Ed invention, it’s likely that the characteristics of Waaagh Energy were clanking around in Andy’s deranged mind for the many years it took him to get it down on paper.
So, as we know from last time, resonance responds to the belief and perceptions of Orkoids. If those perceptions are common enough, they start to actually happen on a massive and universal scale. So once all Orkdom was convinced that Red Vehicles are indeed faster because they are red, it becomes a constant truism for Orks. But as mentioned last time, that perception has to have originally been ground in some form of reality or otherwise the Orks would have never believed it. Orks can make quite fanciful conclusions, but they don’t get them from nowhere. They need something to conclude from.
Thus we are led to the major misconception. It is true that resonance plays a big role in how most Ork technology works. Orks are by and large “can-do” thinkers, not exactly optimistic, just not pessimistic. Thus the concept of failure is something Orks don’t think about, so resonance is merely helping to eliminate the likelihood of failure. Bear in mind that this wont always work, because Orks have to be convinced of its value, and reality is going to rear its ugly head quite often (take note of the fact that Orks can be killed, which shows that realism is still there; no Ork expects, wants or believes they are going to die, yet invariably will, in spite of resonance). Orks have a tendency towards some rationalism, so it is unlikely that Orks would suddenly be able to teleport, or master anti-gravity. Bear these limits in mind, because they’re important.
The Anzion Resonance Article mentions that Ork weapons don’t really work without Orks being there. This is technically true, but there are a number of important distinctions to bear in mind. Not bearing said distinctions in mind leads to the quantum leap that Ork weapons and technology only works because they think it does. Sadly said conclusion is based purely on ignorance of the fluff.
Taking note of where the offending fluff comes from is the first important distinction. Because it notes quite clearly that Meks are spored with an inherent knowledge of “basic physics and mechanical engineering theory”, so even if Meks are completely unaware of what they are building and how they built it, it seems likely that their understanding is at least intuitive enough to be mostly efficient and workable. So it would seem pretty rash to conclude from the fluff that Meks can’t actually build anything, and that an Ork gun is a rusty pipe and a stick held together with gaffer tape. It’s as likely to be as good attempt at a gun as any other engineer with a flair for building would do.
So, Ork technology can plausibly work. Thus it is already clear that the claim of belief being the only factor is clearly wrong. Then if you include the idea even mentioned in the example for the Red Paint Job in the same article (again), you are faced with the fact that something had to form a realistic influence (i.e. a red vehicle perceptively went faster for some unforeseen technical reason than a non-red vehicle) in order for the perception to be enforced by resonance; so at one point a Mek presumably managed to replicate the affect of a weapon that they encountered, or originally used, and at some point it actually stopped mattering whether the technology all worked or not.
Besides, it’s not as if the Imperials are any better. Let’s look at their lasguns.
Psychic resonance on Ork weapons is a fundamental aspect of Ork construction. Psychic energy is channelled from the powers of the warp. Other races channel the warp as a power source, creating warp engines and so forth. If Orks are the only means by which their technology gains that empowerment, then to say that Orks believe stuff works merely because they think they do, is to take a battery out of a torch and expect it to work on its own.
Aside of the fact that this is a real life example versus a fictional one, the point is twofold: Of course, the torch won’t work, so therefore the maxim is true, surely? But that’s just it, the maxim is just as much wrong. Because with or without a battery, you still have a torch. The fact humans have a battery rather than the power of belief is no difference. A Battery is a maguffin that makes something work, and so too in the fictional universe of 40k is waaagh energy. If belief is reflected in psychic resonance, and that resonance can be channelled into making things work, it is a power source in the same way that atomic energy is. So it is only absurd in that it is fictional, and in its own context (i.e. fiction) such a consideration is irrelevant.
Although I doubt the powering up of your battery caused a dead man’s eyes to open and caused a psychic space explorer to jump to his death, did it? You thought your battery hadn’t run out either. You were wrong on both counts.
Well I said lasgun and meant torch… it’s pretty easy to mix those two things up. They both run on power packs that are essentially called batteries. Besides, the Imperials view technology as part of a religion. The mocking should really be coming from the Ork players.
So there we go. You need some logical basis for the thing to happen, or at least some kind of basis. I’m perfectly sure that it doesn’t matter anyway. Because resonance is an inseparable part of the Orks, and it makes no difference either way. To belittle the influence of resonance as a cop-out, or evidence of stupidity would be a bit like hand-waving every advancement humanity has made through the use of opposable thumbs. If a feature exists for a race (fictional or real) then said race is going to make use of it, or it’s a bit pointless it being there at all.
Understanding that resonance works in particular ways and is always present can help to solve a number of mysteries about the Orks. In particular, it can answer a few things about what makes Orks tick. It can explain why Madboyz can be physically stronger than all other Orks, and also explains a few of their powers (in Rogue Trader, some Madboyz could make things float about like poltergeist activity), as their irrational minds can actually bring out the true potential of resonance, because they are not as grounded by reality and rationalism as other Orks.
It also can also help explain why Goffs are smelly and Bad Moons teeth grows faster, also why blue is lucky, probably why Blood Axes are Sneaky, and also how Ork anaesthesia works. The likes of smelly goffs and teeth-rich Bad Moons probably started off life as insults from the other clans, racial slurs upon them that eventually started being true. Most likely at one point they were based in fact: perhaps a particularly successful Goff Warlord was really smelly for some reason (or perhaps non-Goffs foresaw a particular problem about shunning transports in favour of running…), and perhaps a infamous Bad Moon trader, mek or warboss had teeth that seemed to grow quicker (or perhaps Bad Moons were just so good at business and making teeth that Orks began thinking it was because their teeth grew quicker).
So, the next time some player makes some sarcy comment about Ork weaponry, get them to take the battery out of their mobile phone.
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